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2024 Self-Host User Survey Results
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 11:40:23 +0530
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Karna
via
Selfhosted
KarnaSubarna@lemmy.ml
selfhosted
224
224 Likes
Senor_Cardgage
Lotteriemeister
gadgetzombie
slazer2au
Lucy :3
Sunoc
Stefano Prenna
dflemstr
jodawznev
helenslunch
theyllneverfindmehere
dayoldmilk
PrivateNoob
take6056
jake
fl42v
justcallmelarry
shonn
Dave
LordDiMasK
AmbiguousProps
JustMarkov
apocalypse3
quaff
Chat_mots
Daigohji
justlemmyin
jherazob
Lettuce eat lettuce
thayerw
Tyfud
ѕєχυαℓ ρσℓутσρє
rozlav
asudox
UltraHamster64
joat_mon
H4mi
ArcticDagger
NorthWestWind
Skipcast
Jeena
nope
kia
mikatukana
thanks_shakey_snake
Admax
niemcycle
Daniel Quinn
Dipbeneaththelasers
Get_Off_My_WLAN
Simmoos
grehund
I_poop_from_there
Cronzo
cookedslug
Meldrik
ClusterBomb
lukstru
laserkaspar
Neshura
gamesiati
jwiggler
stochastic_parrot
nublug
euchriduk
vividspecter
Something Burger 🍔
plz1
cellardoor
prosthetiknow
Escew
paschko_mato
Demdaru
taaz
ItsGhost
whyrat
Akrenion
alphacyberranger
Synthuir
Laristal
archomrade [he/him]
Admax
suddenfail
TunaLobster
Rozaŭtuno
CEbbinghaus
brownmustardminion
subpar_nsfw
Ænima
ksp [il/lui]
body_by_make
robber
Lem453
WhatAmLemmy
MalReynolds
deleted
ByroTriz
blue lion
ryguyflyguy
Zeko9381
FenrirsFang
Zos_Kia
jbd
Rubberman
CCMan1701A
Justin
apex32
hydroxycotton
Siethron
Mallory
SagXD
Coolcoder360
werefreeatlast
dudenas
klangcola
Tiuku
Tywèle [she|her]
Xianshi
Sigilos
chunkystyles
Jozzo
🖖USS-Ethernet
ditty
sapo_peta
pixguin
VeeIn3D
eldrichhydralisk
Oaksey
TheOneAndOnly
s3rvant
aninnymoose
obolstitelkisok
Nine
femtech
bittersweets
darkan15
Matt
Alper Çelik
shadshack
Dust0741
HEXN3T
dyc3
adhocfungus
Ac5000
ChilledPeppers
DaCrazyJamez
badjay
Adam Monsen
ayaya
Mixel
rhel
cnhguy
watty
PunkiBas
Clay_pidgin
Not_mikey
Reaper948
creative_boi
tomatoely
ZebraGoose
jollyrogue
localme
BillSchofield
IchNichtenLichten
Andromxda 🇺🇦🇵🇸🇹🇼
i_like_water
i_hate_doors
RangerAndTheCat
arrive
poweruser
chakli
sawdustprophet
ItTakesTwo
greenashura
Predalien
Saljid
jinwk00
Jif
dumpymctruckers
besmtt
Valon_Blue
Stety
Eideen
Pete
krash
cryptiod137
Libertus
teamshinanagin
tomasz
secret300
qubik
Bman915
Sunny' 🌻
alt_xa_23
skumky
Ugurcan
bedbeard
derglow
Chivera
Thales
RoachFire
Domi
Virual
lavacake1111
Dogiedog64
Anon518
kibiz0r
Konn
12510198
anar
laranis
slym
Sudomeapizza
glaber
Wiz
Derin
dahpu
Evil_Shrubbery
sandwichsaregood
rafaelrsanches
Cratermaker
extrahazmat
Artyom
cymor
6
midimalist
robolemmy
CCMan1701A
blorbo [he/him]
thrillsandmagic
geneva_convenience
2024-results
Link to Source
show all
50 comments
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 12:30:09 +0530
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Dave
Dave@lemmy.nz
Damn, and I thought the gender ratio on Lemmy was bad.
51
51 Likes
pycorax
mesamune
ArcticDagger
thanks_shakey_snake
mikatukana
wagesj45
cookedslug
Shifty
dayoldmilk
lukstru
Neshura
Something Burger 🍔
inspxtr
arimais
archomrade [he/him]
suddenfail
CEbbinghaus
Finadil
myrmidex
robber
MalReynolds
brvslvrnst
blue lion
486
skumky
Sam, The Man
tekino
pixguin
Emanothep
EasternLettuce
encode8062
Alper Çelik
ChilledPeppers
Mixel
cnhguy
Kidplayer_666
i_like_water
poweruser
i_hate_doors
sugar_in_your_tea
Stety
krash
Saljid
WR5
Virual
brochard
Sudomeapizza
huquad
Grappling7155
idunnololz
Cratermaker
2
mataleo
K3CAN
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 12:55:50 +0530
View Profile
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
Dirk@lemmy.ml
I am disappointed …
8
mikatukana
cookedslug
Something Burger 🍔
CuxeP6ZKbLeAa
blue lion
pixguin
cnhguy
huquad
14
14 Dislikes
RandomLegend [He/Him]
wanderer
suddenfail
retro
🖖USS-Ethernet
Mrrt
dubyakay
catloaf
Adam Monsen
iorale
krash
Milksteaks [he/him]
huquad
Saiwal
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 13:26:09 +0530
View Profile
Valmond
Valmond@lemmy.world
Lemmy uses activity pub right? 200 in a
survey
hosting similar stuff is not that bad IMO.
13
13 Likes
JoeKrogan
thanks_shakey_snake
mikatukana
wagesj45
bobslaede
cookedslug
dayoldmilk
Something Burger 🍔
CEbbinghaus
blue lion
Mixel
DaCrazyJamez
ArcticDagger
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 14:58:10 +0530
View Profile
Hawk
Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com
What are some interesting things to host?
1
ArcticDagger
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 15:04:10 +0530
View Profile
Korkki
Korkki@lemmy.world
What the hell is an ActivityPub platform?
3
archomrade [he/him]
blue lion
ArcticDagger
2
catloaf
iorale
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 15:16:35 +0530
View Profile
Something Burger 🍔
SomethingBurger@jlai.lu
ActivityPub is the protocol powering the Fediverse. Platforms include Lemmy, Mastodon and Pixelfed.
5
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
Korkki
blue lion
sugar_in_your_tea
Lemongrab
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 15:38:22 +0530
View Profile
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
Dirk@lemmy.ml
The usual suspects: Mastodon (or mastodon-compatible servers like GoToSocial), PeerTube, Pixelfed, etc.
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 15:46:52 +0530
View Profile
cellardoor
cellardoor@lemmy.world
Really interesting to scroll through and see. Picked up a couple of new tools to look into, too, thanks!
7
archomrade [he/him]
robber
Jozzo
TheOneCurly
DaCrazyJamez
cnhguy
huquad
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 15:57:07 +0530
View Profile
CosmicTurtle0
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
I sort of get it. When you self host mastodon or lemmy, you have to deal with the moderation that comes with it. That’s a headache unless you have a ton of free time. Judging by the age distribution, I’m guessing most of us just want things to work so we can do what we enjoy.
14
14 Likes
suddenfail
blue lion
Sneezycat
AbidanYre
retro
Absent ✅
Jozzo
🖖USS-Ethernet
fl42v
iorale
sugar_in_your_tea
Luden [comrade/them]
Neshura
hornface
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:03:51 +0530
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inspxtr
inspxtr@lemmy.world
Wonder how the survey was sent out and whether that affected sampling.
Regardless, with -3-4k responses, that’s disappointing, if not concerning.
I only have a more personal sense for Lemmy. Do you have a source for Lemmy gender diversity?
Anyway, what do you think are the underlying issues? And what would be some suggestions to the community to address them?
9
jsqribe
archomrade [he/him]
Alper Çelik
tomatoely
Kidplayer_666
i_like_water
Dave
mogethin0
pycorax
1
mataleo
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:06:58 +0530
View Profile
Saiwal
sk@hub.utsukta.org
@
CosmicTurtle0
hosting a single user federated blog is also an option, you are only responsible for yourself and your friends you host. Not necessary to host public.
4
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
blue lion
ArcticDagger
y0kai
2
catloaf
iorale
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:10:02 +0530
View Profile
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
Dirk@lemmy.ml
You can run those as single-user instances or with approval of users so you can use those instances for your family and/or friends only.
1
y0kai
1
iorale
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:11:10 +0530
View Profile
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
Dirk@lemmy.ml
federated blog
I wonder what federated blog (or publishing platform) isn’t stuck in pre-Docker era, though.
2
hexabs
Luden [comrade/them]
1
y0kai
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:14:40 +0530
View Profile
Saiwal
sk@hub.utsukta.org
@
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
pre-Docker era
you mean bare metal deployments?
1
catloaf
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:22:02 +0530
View Profile
archomrade [he/him]
archomrade@midwest.social
I do wonder how many within the man/woman responses are trans, too.
Idk if that survey was mainly advertised on lemmy, but i know that at least one instance that did a survey had maybe 2% woman respondents, but more than two thirds of
those
were transfem.
Either way, a little disconcerting. I’m not sure what to make of that or what (if anything) to do about it
12
12 Likes
Sneezycat
RxBrad
Alper Çelik
ayaya
Kidplayer_666
i_like_water
poweruser
Dave
Stety
WR5
K3CAN
pycorax
1
mataleo
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:30:23 +0530
last edited: Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:30:52 +0530
View Profile
archomrade [he/him]
archomrade@midwest.social
I know
ghost
has a container deployment and uses activity pub
2
CuxeP6ZKbLeAa
ArcticDagger
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 16:59:20 +0530
View Profile
d00phy
d00phy@lemmy.world
I think this is pretty troubling. Including myself in the sentiment that the self-hosting community needs to do better. Aside from funding individual projects, are there any organizations that help fund self-hosting projects?
30
30 Likes
CommanderShepard
486
eluminx
Sigilos
Kkmou
swallowyourmind
combatfrog
Emanothep
MinFapper
ChilledPeppers
thonderstorm
cnhguy
tomatoely
cymor
localme
Kidplayer_666
helenslunch
ArcticDagger
besmtt
mikaljo
Pete
krash
Saljid
WR5
Domi
dantheclamman
K3CAN
huquad
mogethin0
Cratermaker
2
catloaf
gamermanh
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 17:16:44 +0530
View Profile
Atherel
Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Wat?
5
Sneezycat
dukatos
cnhguy
ArcticDagger
huquad
3
retro
catloaf
Adam Monsen
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 17:45:34 +0530
View Profile
Owljfien
Owljfien@lemm.ee
I don’t want to accidentally cache some no-no content that gets me turbofucked by the law, sure I could probably defend if it ever came up but that’s a stress i dont even want the possibility of having in my life
11
11 Likes
Jozzo
🖖USS-Ethernet
𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝙼𝚎𝚘𝚠
fl42v
VieuxQueb
phase_change
iorale
forks
tomatoely
Saljid
Willdrick
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 17:49:42 +0530
View Profile
retro
retro@infosec.pub
I only need to send sign up and password reset emails for Jellyfin, I don’t need to receive any emails back.
8
eluminx
Jozzo
tekino
pixguin
Mixel
sugar_in_your_tea
Virual
pycorax
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 18:43:18 +0530
last edited: Mon, 21 Oct 2024 18:43:36 +0530
View Profile
🖖USS-Ethernet
USSEthernet@startrek.website
Which service are you using for this?
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 18:49:15 +0530
View Profile
Kkmou
Kkmou@lemm.ee
github.com/axllent/mailpit
1
Slayer
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 19:09:27 +0530
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𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
Dirk@lemmy.ml
Yeah. While I can dockerize those applications, all I checked out lack modern features and concepts/designs. It all feels heavily outdated technology-wise.
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 19:14:07 +0530
View Profile
Saiwal
sk@hub.utsukta.org
@
𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
I think thats the fun of it, different people building tools as per their knowledge/requirements, with time i'm sure someone will make something that you might find suitable :)
1
y0kai
1
catloaf
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 19:47:26 +0530
View Profile
justcallmelarry
justcallmelarry@lemmy.dbzer0.com
I’m in the no-bucket, but instead i spend time on issues, helping the community and sometimes code contributions to self hosted projects instead.
This is not taken into the account of the question, however, but should be considered as contributing.
(I also consider donating to be contributing.)
13
13 Likes
carzian
Alper Çelik
tomatoely
Nukular
cymor
localme
Kidplayer_666
sugar_in_your_tea
ArcticDagger
Saljid
d00phy
WR5
Saiwal
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 20:13:44 +0530
View Profile
shnizmuffin
shnizmuffin@lemmy.inbutts.lol
Shout out to my fellow “None Backup Strategies” chaos goblins.
27
27 Likes
MarsAgainstVenus
PunkiBas
ZebraGoose
bigsoup
tapdattl
cymor
potat
rhsJack
Kidplayer_666
Beans
0xblaze
ArcticDagger
Luden [comrade/them]
besmtt
InnerScientist
Saljid
tofubl
thatsnothowyoudoit
Virual
dantheclamman
binomialchicken
huquad
mogethin0
Derin
rafaelrsanches
Karna
Saiwal
1
krash
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 20:42:34 +0530
View Profile
Atherel
Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com
I meant more like… which
server
part are you hosting. Answer: Client…
2
i_like_water
K3CAN
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 21:39:33 +0530
last edited: Mon, 21 Oct 2024 21:41:22 +0530
View Profile
lemmydividebyzero
lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com
“What is your gender?”
82 females, 3300 males…
Ah guys, where are the females?
13
13 Likes
Kidplayer_666
i_like_water
sugar_in_your_tea
ArcticDagger
mikaljo
Neshura
Saljid
Schtefanz
dantheclamman
charles
Derin
rafaelrsanches
Cratermaker
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 21:44:51 +0530
View Profile
Hawk
Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com
I just don’t see the use of self hosting these just for myself. I guess that’s why so little people do this?
2
ArcticDagger
Lemongrab
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 21:46:21 +0530
View Profile
lemmydividebyzero
lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com
Sad… Did not see the survey when it was running…
3
cymor
rach
Karna
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 22:18:01 +0530
View Profile
nadiaraven
nadiaraven@lemmy.world
I’m a woman who does some self hosting. Hi.
23
23 Likes
absquatulate
rhsJack
Kidplayer_666
i_like_water
sugar_in_your_tea
lemmydividebyzero
kora
Badoker
ArcticDagger
besmtt
Neshura
krash
Saljid
dXq9dwg4zt
Schtefanz
dantheclamman
finless_alien
Derin
rafaelrsanches
asexualchangeling
Cratermaker
Karna
Saiwal
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 22:27:25 +0530
View Profile
tapdattl
tapdattl@lemmy.world
You could self host a web client
5
i_like_water
sugar_in_your_tea
retro
Neshura
Webster
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 22:47:40 +0530
View Profile
Kidplayer_666
Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee
A jewel among the rubbish of literally every other women :P
1
sugar_in_your_tea
37
37 Dislikes
chakli
varyingExpertise
Badoker
BurningTurtle
AssOrTheCrotch
heisenbug4242
doorknob88
ArcticDagger
Luden [comrade/them]
besmtt
mikaljo
shnizmuffin
ChogChog
krash
Saljid
rach
caseyweederman
thatsnothowyoudoit
ElectricMachman
y0kai
bedbeard
Domi
jubilationtcornpone
Milksteaks [he/him]
Virual
Webster
ColdCreasent
Timberfang
Derin
nmaloney
pycorax
ShrimpCurler
asexualchangeling
Cratermaker
scrawdaddy
mdk_
Karna
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 22:54:42 +0530
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helenslunch
helenslunch@feddit.nl
There’s a fundamental problem with FOSS culture that anyone who asks for money is seen negatively. Which I get, but also, I think the other edge of the sword, depending on donations, is worse, because ad-driven and freemium companies like Google and Meta have created a culture of entitlement. Ideally they would set up a 501c3 like Signal or Ghost, but obviously that can be cost and time-prohibitive.
4
d00phy
K3CAN
mogethin0
pycorax
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 22:56:25 +0530
View Profile
helenslunch
helenslunch@feddit.nl
Not just moderation, but you are responsible for all content on your server, some of which may be illegal and hosting it is a IRL crime, but the sheer size of it is impossible to filter.
1
gamermanh
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 23:13:22 +0530
View Profile
sugar_in_your_tea
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
How so? 40%-ish is actually pretty good!
I’m also in the “no” bucket, but I’ve contributed bug reports and do intend to donate soonish now that I use more visible projects (used to just be minidlna, BTRFS, and openSUSE). I only added Jellyfin a few months ago, and I do intend to donate since I don’t intend to report bugs or contribute code.
18
18 Likes
Tenkard
ArcticDagger
mikaljo
Neshura
Saljid
d00phy
jwt
iknowitwheniseeit
Player2
hornface
Lemongrab
jubilationtcornpone
Schtefanz
Webster
finless_alien
nmaloney
pycorax
ShrimpCurler
1
K3CAN
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 23:15:14 +0530
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sugar_in_your_tea
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
Eh, the women I know in tech aren’t particularly interested in self-hosting. Not sure why, but women
seem
to have a stronger separation between work and hobbies, whereas the men I work with often do personal projects at home related to their work. I think the women I work with would be more than capable, they just seem uninterested.
3
Dave
Beans
pycorax
Link to Source
Mon, 21 Oct 2024 23:16:44 +0530
last edited: Mon, 21 Oct 2024 23:17:38 +0530
View Profile
sugar_in_your_tea
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
Why? I’m not particularly interested in ActivityPub, I just use Lemmy because it’s the closest thing to Reddit w/o being Reddit. Once a better alternative shows up, I’m out.
I’m happy to throw some money at the admin of my instance, I’m not interested in hosting something myself, especially when things can break when different instances are on different versions.
1
y0kai
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 00:01:51 +0530
View Profile
Dave
Dave@lemmy.nz
It’s hard to know overall for Lemmy, but I know that both Lemmy.ca and Lemmy.nz have surveyed their members.
lemmy.ca/post/15125231
lemmy.nz/post/12001861
Both were around 87% men, where as this selfhosting one is like 96% men.
I would guess it’s explained by society. Women are less likely to be in STEM which seems to almost be a prerequisite for Lemmy and possibly self-hosting, and of those women in STEM, and ( despite what you might think about your own house) there is still a societal expectation of them running the household and doing most of the household chores, even when they work full time. A third job, selfhosting, may be too much.
2
Neshura
pycorax
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 00:12:29 +0530
View Profile
Dave
Dave@lemmy.nz
Possibly related to the whole mental load thing:
english.emmaclit.com/2017/…/you-shouldve-asked/
When you have two jobs you don’t really want a third.
4
Saljid
Beans
Virual
pycorax
2
y0kai
K3CAN
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 02:28:31 +0530
View Profile
d00phy
d00phy@lemmy.world
True, it’s a good percentage, and probably better than most free software. That said, given the communities the self hosted apps support, their excitement for the products, and for some the essential nature of some of these apps, it would be nice to see the yes/no number more 50/50 at least.
2
sugar_in_your_tea
K3CAN
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 02:30:14 +0530
View Profile
d00phy
d00phy@lemmy.world
Agreed. I’m not much of a coder, so the best contribution I can give is probably $$. At least until I get off my ass and learn something new!
1
Beans
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 02:48:10 +0530
View Profile
Allero
Allero@lemmy.today
It’s alright! We don’t all have to host our own instance. Existing ones can easily accommodate hundreds of users.
2
Lemongrab
Player2
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 02:51:09 +0530
View Profile
sugar_in_your_tea
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
I’m more interested in dollar amounts. Are people sending $5 every now and then, or is there more consistent funding?
2
d00phy
ShrimpCurler
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 02:51:36 +0530
View Profile
jwt
jwt@programming.dev
Btw also an awesome way of telling people you’re pregnant.
6
ElectricMachman
iknowitwheniseeit
hornface
pycorax
ShrimpCurler
Karna
2
Derin
asexualchangeling
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 03:06:10 +0530
View Profile
jozza
jozza@lemmy.world
Wtf?
5
Lemongrab
Webster
Derin
pycorax
scrawdaddy
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 03:26:18 +0530
View Profile
sugar_in_your_tea
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
Yeah, I totally get that.
However, the women in my workplace either aren’t married or have no kids. They just don’t want to do “work stuff” outside of work hours, so I don’t think that comic really applies.
Personal experience w/ SO about similar realization
Over the past year or two, my wife has gotten really stressed by the kids, so I (male) have taken over a lot of the tasks involving the kids. I make breakfast and lunch and drop the kids at school every day, then more often than not make dinner when I finish work, and I put the kids to bed every night. My wife is a SAHM, but she’s had a ton of issues with anxiety recently, so she’s mostly been caring for the youngest (4yo) and picking up the others from school. All the kids are quite independent now and mostly play with the neighbors, and she makes dinner 1-2x/week. I do almost all of the shopping, laundry, dishes, etc, but she still stresses about those despite not doing much of it (again, anxiety). We have a
very
different way of working on household tasks. When I’m short on time, I do the urgent things first and
intentionally
ignore the less important details to be handled later (usually the weekend). When
she
is short on time, she’ll stay up late and do all the details while also doing the important things, then she’s burnt out for the next few days (understandable) and things degrade back to where they were. I think the average level of tidiness and amount of work is similar between our approaches. So she has essentially retained the mental load, even though I’ve taken the lion’s share of the actual work. Just
seeing
a mess stresses her out, whereas for me, a mess is just an obstacle that I can work around in the short-term. It’s not that I don’t see the mess, just that I’m a lot more focused on the task than the broader picture. My thought is that this is a bunch of latent guilt stemming from her upbringing. She grew up in an E. Asian household, with all of the social expectations and whatnot, so when she sees a mess, she takes it as a personal attack on not being a good enough home maker. I had a similar upbringing, where my mom stayed home w/ us kids and my dad was the sole breadwinner. However, when I was a teenager, my mom started to work outside the house and my dad was able to WFH more, so they shared the household responsibilities a bit more (she still did laundry and shopping, but my dad did more cooking and dishes). My in-laws have had a similar transition (MIL works, FIL takes SS and doesn’t work), but my MIL still keeps the same responsibilities she always had. So, I’ve been trying to have things a bit more complete, even if in just one area, rather than spreading efforts around the house, and it seems to have a much bigger impact on her anxiety than what I would normally do. I’ve also listed all of the household chores, and we’ll be assigning explicit responsibility of tasks to the kids (they had them as chores, but there was no formal handover of responsibility), as well as offering the kids incentives to take on additional tasks (in our case, that means spending money). My goal is to reduce her mental load and enable her to think about things outside of the home to hopefully get over the anxiety issues she’s been facing.
To me, this
totally
confirms the gist of that post. Taking away the
work
of a task still leaves the mental load of that task.
That said, I think there’s something more here though. I think men see work as a end in itself, whereas women see it as a means to an end (i.e. men want to hunt despite it being
less
efficient, because the trophy
is
the point). I’m sure there’s a ton of variability there, but I wonder if there’s more than just culture at play here (i.e. the above mentality also makes sense in a hunter/gatherer context; men do the big, showy things, while women do the consistent work of the tribe). I don’t know, what I
do
know is that
none
of the women I know have hobbies that are similar to the work they do, even if they find their work to be fulfilling.
4
Dave
mogethin0
pycorax
ShrimpCurler
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 03:40:18 +0530
View Profile
filcuk
filcuk@lemmy.zip
How does one self-host Obsidian? Does that just mean file sync? What am I missing?
3
Lemongrab
Anon518
Willdrick
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 03:59:13 +0530
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Lemongrab
Lemongrab@lemmy.one
Hmm, you have typed words that I do not vibe with.
1
asexualchangeling
5
jwt
ColdCreasent
K3CAN
Derin
pycorax
Link to Source
Tue, 22 Oct 2024 07:25:39 +0530
View Profile
Derin
derin@lemmy.beru.co
Yeah, really don’t get this one. As an example, I’ve been supporting the guy who writes most of the software I use via Github sponsors for a while, now. It’s nice to get access to additional support chat rooms and perks and stuff, but just the feeling alone is satisfying enough.
Feelsgoodman.jpg
I genuinely recommend those with gainful employment to consider supporting the people who make the software and media you like (E.g. Patreon).
Issue reports and the likes are nice, but they’re really not a substitute for cash (in my opinion).
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